Monday, November 27, 2006

The Graffiti Gorilla

Joe Cannoli here. For those of you who don't know me, I'll tell you a little bit about myself. I'm forty-two years old, Italian. I gotta daughter named Gina anda beautiful fucking wife Maria. My favorite t.v. show is 'Cops' and my least favorite people are taggers (lowercase 't'). The LAScumbag is all right in my book however, becasue he lets me come in his arena and teach you fucks a thing or two about respect. Respect, as in, not writing your names up and down the block where my place of business is. Or, respect as in not going around to frat parties flashing fake photos of my angelic daughter Gina with a cuban cigar in her fucking twat.

Pardon the language lord, but these motha fuckers.

Why do they call you the Gorilla? Cause I'm Italian and big as a fuckin' ape!
Why do you hate graffiti so much? I love graffiti, but for some reason I can't stand the people who do it. They think they own the joint.
What is your mission? It's my duty to rid the streets of these so called graffitititists (Or whatever the fuck)

For example: Here is a billboard that was once covered in ugly, unwanted graffiti. I bet the neighborhood is happy to see someone is taking a stand against the indecency.

Photobucket - Video and Image Hosting


Thats all for now ya little faggolas, and if you tag on my shit, I'll see you sooner than later. You got that?!

Wednesday, November 22, 2006

Monday, November 20, 2006

Drugs = Fun.



So i go out on saturday night planning to get drizunk which i accomplish quickly at a party in westwood. We leave here and head east for some madness in downtown.

When we pull up i hear the familiar sound of a tank filling balloons with joy. I get a few more drinks in me and run straight for the tank, i take 5 to my head without ever even thinking about staying clean for a month and love every single one.

I later found my way over to a reggae party on Slauson & Rimpau that went on 'til 6 in the morning, and blowing lines until crashing on a dirty floor at a friends house in inglewood at 10am the next morning, feelin' like my good old self again.

Sunday, November 19, 2006

Subs up! Subs down¡

Heller's loft party.

The roof top party in downtown was crackin with lots of free booze and cheap nos.

i had the worst hiccups the whole ride home from the roof top party and the only thing that could cure it was weed. or water. i was doing both, one of them sure worked.

Subs Up, LA styles for miles.


LA scumbag you no editor!!! i kno editor, u no editor

Saturday, November 18, 2006

Weekly Round-Up.

So i've come to realize that i go to way to many fucking shows to not write about it. So here's what i think of who i saw and still remember.



We begin on monday with one of the sickest shows i've ever been to. Chili Peppers at the roxy. The roxy is a 400 person venue, so i was very excited when i won these tickets. How could this get any better? Open bar! I drank all the free patrĂ³n i could and rocked the fuck out . This show was amazing, you couldn't even imagine just how wild it was. They played all their greats from all eras and ripped it up hard . Extra: If you watch the video closely you could see smoke filling the stage, guess who that is. Video from LAist.

I had a few days to rest(i think,) and came back out for my thursday ritual of seeing Steel at the Kibitz Room. The first time i saw them was a few months back with Rolo and have came back damn near every time they played since.. If you want to see some real rock come out to Safari Sams on the 24th or Kibitz on the 30th and you'll know what the fuck i'm talking about. Photo from Steel MySpace.

It's Friday, Tenacious D time. I didn't quite know what to expect of the D, Would there be any chicks there? Will the place be packed? What would they play? Before going in i sat outside smoking a few bowls and noticed the weird nerdy crowlurkingng about, these guys look like they sit at home playing warcraft all day long. But who the fuck cares. I came there to rock and when JB and KG got onto stage they made sure to do just that. They came out hard and with a kick, Complete rock opera style . I managed to come up on a pit ticket and hang front row for the show. They played all the old good shit. The new stuff is really good too. I had a great time. Photo by spartus.


Subs up! Subs down¡

Amsterdam Cafe North Hollywood

So we head to North Hollywood to the amsterdam cafe because we heard free Booze, 20 artists and a few dj's. Too bad the Amsterdam is either hit or a miss, this night was a miss. There was no one there, we chilled for 2 seconds and bounced!

Subs Down, But you could make a spot chill with free drinks.

Zombie show in Venice

After taking a fun walk down abbot kinney we arrived at this spot near westminster. The show was packed and it was hot and steamy inside, which made several girls take off their clothing.

Yeah, the inside was cool but the real party was outside. the convenient liqor store outside of the show made it a big hit for us. The walls soon got covered with throw-ups, tags, piss and stickers. There was no drama, it was a chill. The piggies showed up with their mighty flashlights to scatter the scumbags away. We went in again to enjoy the show with less people breathing down our nostrils. Subs Up! Good times, Venice.

Day 5.

So, it's day 5 of my drug-free lifestyle.

I've come in contact with most of the drugs I would have usually done and denied them all. I had a dream that I was blowing the other night, and I've had a ton of shit offered to me. But I still have yet to break it. One can't imagine how bad I want to get fucked up right now on anything.

25 more fucking days to go. This blows, hard.

Wednesday, November 15, 2006

Day 2.

Last April i was laid-off from my great studio job and i started doing graphic design for myself, with this came new hours and a lot more time to party.
I started going to shows every night, and when i turned 21 in June i was unstoppable.

I could work whenever the fuck i wanted, wake up at 2 work till 8 and go out drinking at 10, After a while this was my daily routine the only thing keeping me from being hung over or getting too drunk was the California snow. I would have a few drinks do a few bumps and just hang out at least five nights out of the week. This got to be a bit much after a month or two so i stopped, for a while.

I started messing with other drugs so i could keep partying but not become a cokehead. MDMA, Pills, Mushrooms, Acid even Heroin at times. With this came more parties, wild ass people like myself, and more real hollywood. The point of all of this is that it's been over 6 months since i've been sober for a solid week and maybe writing about it might help me take a break, at least a month without any drugs. I will keep smoking the good green herb to keep me alive through this period of my life and write about how it's going. Today is day 2, the last drug i did was coke after drinking 13 free drinks at the Roxy for a Chili Peppers show. I feel pretty good, my nose is clear and so is my head. 28 more days to go.

Saturday, November 11, 2006

Ghostriding gone wrong.

Some of you might of heard of the hyphy movement, this started in Oakland and consists of acting like an idiot, dancing like a retard, and Ghostriding the Whip. This is when some idiot bumps his music and gets out of his car while leaving it in drive, it could be done solo or with other idiots. Tonight i show you what happens when ghostriding goes wrong.


This is my favorite one, it's fucking genius. I would do the same exact thing.


oh my god, did that really just happen.


This is the worst case scenario, what would E-40 think of this?

Here's more that i liked but just didn't make the cut. A Compilation, Off-Road, Experienced Ghostrider, a Bike.

Tuesday, November 07, 2006

Vote today!


Wherever you're at, whatever you believe in, get out there and vote! I should never be up this early, but i told a friend I'd watch her dog so here i am at 8:37 smoking vapor bags when i realize today is voting day! So now I'm still waiting for the dog, but when she gets here i think we'll be on our way to the voting booth. Peace.
Photo taken by JKonig.

Monday, November 06, 2006

Subs up! Subs down¡

The Unknown Theater
Hello, I am Subhumanoid and this will be a portion of the blog where Im gona give my reviews to events Ive been to. The good ones will get Subs up , the wack ones Subs down.

Last saturday the homie UmOne had a rock show at the Unknown Theatre. The name is no joke , when you would ask someone where it was, they didint know. But through sherlock holmes steezy of Rolo Tomasi I was able to find the spot. Street parking was not too hard to find and after a few cups of tequila my posse and I was ready for the experience. The theatre was small for a theatre but was about the right size for a rock show. The stage was freakin crazy, they nailed furniture to the ceiling to make it tripppy and trippy it was. The furniture was nice and the drinks were at affordable, along with the low lit lighting the atmosphere was coool. The first band was hard to get into, for the leadsinger was inaudible, but the main band killed it with fresh vocals, excellent use of delay pedals and madd drum action.

It was good times, after the show people wrote all over a board that was near the entrance and everyone seemed like they were having a chill time.. SUBBY THUMBS UP

Friday, November 03, 2006

Jury Duty Pt. 2


Yesterday as i walk out of the Clara Shortridge Foltz Criminal Justice Center to take pictures around downtown for my lunch break i hear a strange noise and people start screaming. I run over to where this is happening an without knowing a thing start snapping pictures. I see a person laying on the floor face down not moving, it was 12:10pm and about 5 sheriffs were running around diverting people and traffic. everyone around is in a state of panic. it took over 4 minutes for them to cover the body up, but everyone felt the person was dead long before .

I had about 10 minutes to take pictures before i was threatened to be arrested if i didn't leave. I got about a block away and found out that someone had jumped out of the building i was in. When we got back from lunch the judge informed us that it was a woman that jumped off the 19th floor roof.

I got home and started looking into this and found absolutely nothing, even though this was on the corner of Spring and Temple at 12 o'clock. LA Times online had a tiny snippet in the morning and Met News wrote this article. I want to know whether she was a juror like me, or if she had lost a case, what if her husband just got life in jail. Do i have the right to know since i saw her laying there? Fuck jury duty. Next time I'm just not showing up.
Courthouse Suicide Courthouse Suicide Courthouse Suicide Courthouse Suicide

Thursday, November 02, 2006

Big Wangs

Went to Big Wangs...

Woke up covered in puke, in my bed...

Another day in the life of a scumbag.....

Juty Dury


What the fuck is jury duty, thats what i thought to myself when i first found out i had to go downtown at 7:45 on halloween.

I postponed and postponed until it finally came to the day Oct 31st, I go down to the courthouse get my badge sit down in the assembly room to see all these weird people pointing at a hot latina chick. I ask them what the fuss is about and they tell me it's Eva Longoria and everyones going crazy over it.

They excuse for break so i go grab a crossiantwich and come back to find every seat is taken except the one next to my new friend Eva. I walk up and kindly ask her to move her bag and newspaper and take the seat, at this point half of the room is staring at me now. So i start to shoot the shit with her, "Have you ever been called out before?" i ask prentending to have no clue who she is and she tells me that she it's her first time and we get into a stupid conversation about judge judy and her name gets called shorty after. She takes off and this old lady runs up to me and asks if i know "who i was talking "to like it was the coolest shit on the planet.